Here's a few gems from a "you might be a ricer..." website:
You Might Be A Ricer If
*You've spent more on graphics and decals than you have in gas, for the whole year
*You sound like you're going 90, but you're creeping past 25
*You upgraded to the "big bore" 2 inch exhaust
*You lose 2 mpg by installing a body kit
*Your wing is so large that if you go faster than 65, your bumper drags
*You think "displacement" is something that happens to homeless people
*Yugo's give you a run for the money
*You continuously run red lights because they are invisible thru your red window tint
*15's are considered HUGE rims
*You can reach back and defrost the rear window by hand
*You will race anyone, anytime, and already know that you will lose
*You think Moby is one of the greatest composers of our time
*You spend all your money pimping it out because spending money to make it faster is a waste
*Your little sister is the only one impressed with your car
*When you win a race, you don't really win, it's just that the other guy felt soooo sorry for you
*You think your mom's Corolla is fast
*The cross section of your exhaust tip is bigger than the contact patch of your tires
*Your aftermarket tach is bigger than your fist
*You bought the big ass tach to try to scare off the fast cars
*But all it does is let people know how hard you have to push it to exceed the legal speed limit
*You rev on school busses
*Hell, you rev on people in electric wheelchairs
*You buy and install custom rims a pair at a time
*YOU REALIZE THAT ALL OF THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND YOU STILL THINK YOU'RE COOL!!!
*You've entered a 12 step program called "How to come to terms with your limitations"
*The bill of your hat gets caught when you roll the window up
*You really want to kick my ass right now
*You cut 2" holes in your rear bumper and don't know what they're for
*You cut 2" holes in your rear bumper and DO know what they're for
*You go to the auto paint store and pick out the most retina burning color you can find
*You buy race gas to drop you from 17.02 to 16.9 in the quarter, and then tell all your friends how fast you went
*You add a second battery to power all the neon, and the mini disco ball
*You add a wing on TOP of your car, 'cause wagons need down force too
*You've ever painted bare, raw fiberglass black and said "Look! It's just like carbon fiber!"
*You get pimped out props from the mini truck crowd
*You still only get dates from high school girls
*You actually own a pair of light up glasses from Checker Auto
*When you install your super phat wing, you put the pointy ends up
*You purchase and install a body kit, one piece at a time
*You saw the "Rice Boy" magazine in the back of Sport Compact, and inquired about a subscription
*Your brother is pissed cause you stole the muffler off his dirt bike (it was a direct fit!)
*Your dad is worried cause you bought a car with less displacement than his lawnmower
annoyance with the popular "tuners"
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